Laziness is a vice. And this is coming from a person whose preferred state of inertia is idleness. Lazing about has been my favourite thing to do for the past fortnight, and I’m looking to see if my other favourite activity, namely writing, can make me forget this state.
Writing’s probably the easiest thing to do when one’s lazy. I actually thought of going to gym, but then decided that’s too much work. Plus, it’s not like I have any girl to impress right now that I need to be Hulk Hogan Mark II. Sheesh. Being in an engineering college, especially an awesome one like BITS Hyderabad (there you go, Krithika, I said it) means that the only girls you’re likely to meet look like pugs. As a popular IIT joke goes, the only time an IITian knows that the person in front of him is actually a girl is if said girl gets a proposal from a gay guy. Well, BITS isn’t too far off in that regard.
Then I decided to play the keyboard. A huge step down from the rigour and effort of gym. All one has to do is let their fingers dance. And apparently, I’m not bad at it. But the second I sit down in front of my precious, I remember the marathon session we’d had with one Macbook Pro and a Roland Keyboard. Nope. That thought goes down the drain faster than food down my gullet. I’m not making music now, no matter what the occasion.
Enter friendship. I could go and talk to any of my friends in this godforsaken place. And I get up from my chair and stretch luxuriously, getting the kinks out of my system. Aah. That feels better. Much better. And I start towards the door. I take one step. Then another. My mind encourages me, “Easy does it. One step at a time. You can reach the door, you can do it, you can do it.” Unfortunately, my body had other ideas. The thought of walking the 25 metres to Gupta’s room, let alone down two flights of stairs to Piyush’s room was too much for it to handle. Scumbag body, as a true 9gagger would say.
Laziness towers over me now, daring me to do something other than lie on bed. I can almost see the sneer on its face, the cruel set of its mouth as it laughs at my predicament. I look at it in the eye, defiance building in me. It stares back casually, its spectre threatening to haunt me for the rest of miserable existence. And I reach for my notebook.
It laughs, knowing that I’ll only put on Pandora or something similar and sink into my bed listening to random songs. Or maybe have a Youtube party. Yay me.
But I’m not a student of Machiavelli for nothing! (And I’ve seen Batman Begins.) Theatricality and deception are potent tools. I pretend, very sadly, to put on songs on Pandora, starting with Iron Maiden. “Wasted Years” blares into life making my built-in laptop speakers cry with effort. I spare them nary a thought as I deftly open WordPress and create an account. I’d been planning towards this for weeks! I’d start my own blog and I’d write utter crap which people would love to read.
And lo, behold! Up comes Hawk Radius! Why I picked this name I know not. Randomness is the order of the day and even my own mind is flummoxed with the thoughts running around it right now.
Take that, laziness! It starts, taken completely by surprise. And here I am, doing a victory dance, I got a fast one through it. Who knows, maybe I’ll even start going to Gym!
Or on second thoughts, maybe not Gym. Baby steps. First I’ll go to Gupta’s room, then go on my keyboard…